On the lighter side

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Posted by John in Mich on April 15, 2020 at 07:04:45 [URL] [DELETE] :

I received this in an e-mail, author(s) unknown

● Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks.  The other half will come out with a drinking problem.


● I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.


● Still haven't decided where to go for the upcoming Holidays ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom.


● Helpful Hint: Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.


● Home schooling is not going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.


● I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.


● This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog . . . we laughed a lot.


● So, after this quarantine . . . will the producers of 'My 600 Pound Life' just find me or do I find them?


● Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.


● My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.


● Day 5 of Home schooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.


● I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?


● I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.


● Day 6 of Home schooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year" . . . I'm offended.


● Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.

 

REMEMBER, NO STORMS LAST FOREVER.

HOLD ON, BE BRAVE, HAVE FAITH.

Every storm is temporary and we are not required to face the storm alone!

 


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